Moving Abroad with Me, Myself, and I
When I was setting out on my own this time last year, many had only concerns to share with me about the idea. They made truthful points: moving alone is hard and I have wanted to quit. But something most people never said has also proved true: moving solo can be done, and done well.
Guest article by Claire Johnson
Moving “alone” does not necessarily mean you are alone when you arrive in your host country, but it does mean you moved there on your own. I started my journey this way. A lot of us wouldn’t say we moved alone, though, because many of us have already established connections in the country we are moving to.
Whether you have contacts in your host country or not, I’d like to share a few tips for having as smooth a transition as possible. Some of these I implemented from the start of moving to Romania, while others I learned the hard way.
Seek international and local friends, fast. You hopefully already have some friends in one of these categories, but make sure to seek out relationships in both once you move!
Local friends are invaluable for learning about the culture and the language, showing you the ins and outs of groceries stores, helping you hunt for an apartment, and so on. For example, I found out from my local friends how unhealthy my landlord relationship was. They helped me resolve the situation and find a better apartment.
International friends are there to walk with you through the emotional and mental craziness that happens in transition. No matter how sweet and understanding your local friends are (as mine have been), more likely than not, most of them will not understand the culture shock, homesickness, and other feelings you may experience. They likely won’t understand all the weird things about their own culture you are having to adjust to, or they could be offended/frustrated if you complain about these things to them often. It’s crucial to have international friends you can complain to and laugh with, who make you feel more normal in your struggles, and who don’t have an emotional tie to defend the culture they’re in.
Dig deep into your faith. If you don’t yet see your faith walk as a relationship with a heavenly Father who loves you, might I encourage you to explore that idea more? I cannot stress enough how difficult moving alone will be. No matter how independent you think you are, you will feel very alone at times. You will transform miraculously and wondrously—through beautiful and difficult times—and no one will see the full scope of that transition. Sometimes it will be the most infuriating and/or depressing thing that you aren’t walking through this with someone else. The depth of loneliness one can feel if they don’t believe there is One who has walked with us through everything is an emptiness I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy.
For me, addressing this has looked like prioritizing my devotional time. That doesn’t always mean Bible study. Sometimes I have “date nights” where I buy my favorite foods and a box of chocolates, light a candle, and eat to the ambiance of Italian music. I might journal, pray, or just think over my time with the Lord. Other times I listen to a sermon or podcast, go for a walk, or sit on a bench to think and pray. For my Bible study, I especially love reading a short passage and meditating on it for ten minutes or so, then journaling a prayer or playing a worship song that came to mind while praying.
Don’t forget to celebrate your anniversaries with the Lord, too! Couples, families, and teams tend to have built-in anniversaries they celebrate together, but it can be easy for singles who came alone to not think of special occasions worth celebrating. On the contrary, there are many milestones to celebrate! You can do something special each year on the day you moved to your host culture, for example. My favorite anniversary to celebrate is my faith anniversary. I went on a “date night” to commemorate ten years since becoming a Christian and purchased a ring this year to celebrate twelve years. These moments are important to God, and He loves celebrating them with you. Just think of how many festivals and feasts God had set for the Israelites to celebrate different moments in their life!
If you can, keep up with someone from your home culture regularly—weekly or bi-weekly if possible. It’s easy to let time fly by and forget about your friends back home as you get involved with things in your new country—especially right after you’ve moved. But that only makes it harder when you inevitably wake up one day and miss home and the people who knew you (and whom you knew) before you moved. You can prevent this by arranging to keep up with a mentor, friend, or family member before you move. I would recommend someone who has traveled—or at least is very open-minded to those who have different opinions. Your views and beliefs will change once you move, and it is easier to keep up with someone who will listen without judging or arguing with you. For me, I call my spiritual mentor (of 6+ years) at least bi-weekly. Sharing my journey with her keeps me grounded and makes me feel seen and known. She also has helped with many crucial decisions. Her ability to advise is made infinitely easier by the fact she has been in the loop since before I moved!
Keep in touch with yourself. During your move, it can be easy to lose touch with more than just God or others: you can forget to keep up with yourself, too. You may not think it’s very important during the beginning of the transition, and it may seem like there’s no time for self-reflection, but you will appreciate it later.
Keeping a record of your time in your host country helps you process the present and proves to be invaluable for the future. Looking over my journal entries from the past years has greatly encouraged me. I read thoughts and feelings I forgot I had during my first time in Romania, and during my preparation to move here again. I would encourage you to journal as often as you can. If it’s too hard to sit down and force thoughts into written words, record your thoughts in a digital journal. Find creative and healthy ways to remind yourself that you are a whole person affected by both your past in your home country, as well as your present in your host country.
When I was setting out on my own this time last year, many had only concerns to share with me about the idea. They made truthful points: moving alone is hard and I have wanted to quit. But something most people never said has also proved true: moving solo can be done, and done well. It takes a little prep work before moving and some intentional effort once we land—but we can do it!
Which tips helped you? Any additional advice from others on a similar journey? Share in the comments!
This guest article was written by Claire Love Johnson. Claire is a Tennessee native currently living in Iași, Romania (pronounced ee-YASH, not Lash). Seeing as she visited Iași for the first time two weeks before the pandemic in 2020 and moved there to stay two weeks before the war in 2022, everyone hopes she won’t be the harbinger of any other disasters whenever she returns from her first furlough. Claire finds the most joy in her faith, followed by deep conversations, language learning, teaching English, and writing her next book. You can find more about her on her Instagram or blog.