Ten Ways to Show Simple Hospitality
“If someone stopped by unexpectedly I would be thinking much less about welcoming them and much more about how I was going to be perceived in my unprepared state.”
I knocked on the weathered wooden door, but there was no answer. When I pushed, the door opened easily. Peeking inside the dark concrete house, my eyes took a few seconds to adjust. I called my neighbor’s name and she quickly appeared from around the corner. Instead of looking annoyed that I had opened her front door and let myself in uninvited, she did what the lovely people do in my host country- she smiled and eagerly welcomed me in. A woven mat was unrolled on the floor for us to sit on; most families don’t have living room furniture here. She quickly ran back to her open-air kitchen and grabbed a bunch of bananas and some water for us, genuinely happy that this unexpected American guest had come for a visit. The humble state of her home didn’t have any bearing on her offering of hospitality, and I don’t know if I’ve ever felt more welcome by someone.
This type of interaction has been repeated over and over again since I moved to southeast Asia six years ago by almost every local friend I might happen to drop in on. There is always a smile, always an offering of food, always a willingness to put aside whatever they were doing to welcome me in. Being on the receiving end of such humble, genuine kindness has shaken up the sands of my belief of hospitality until they have settled in the form of something that looks much less like entertainment and much more like Christ. My neighbors here have taught me that hospitality isn’t about anything other than creating space and time for someone to be seen, known, and loved. And that doesn’t take an Instagram-worthy living space or restaurant-quality food. It can be as simple as a woven mat on the floor, a bunch of bananas, a smile, and your undivided attention.
I have been guilty in the past of making my home a castle of sorts. I was happy to host others, but I felt if I invited people in it needed to be done on a grand scale- an event of royal proportions. If there was no event planned, then I pulled up my drawbridge and closed the gates, my castle becoming an impenetrable fortress where doors were not answered without a prior invitation. If someone stopped by unexpectedly I would be thinking much less about welcoming them and much more about how I was going to be perceived in my unprepared state. I didn’t like that feeling of vulnerability, so I missed out on many opportunities for connection and community, simply because I didn’t understand the true meaning of hospitality. I’m so thankful my neighbors have shown me a different perspective on how simple meaningful hospitality can be.
Perhaps some of my story rings true for you, too. Maybe you’ve mistakenly equated hospitably with entertainment. Maybe you’re introverted and opening your home to people feels overwhelming. Or maybe you’re new in your host country and language barriers are still a struggle so you’re hesitant to invite people in. Maybe you’re not a great cook and the thought of having to provide food for a group of people is intimidating. Whatever it is that has caused you to resist opening your home and showing hospitality to others, I want to share ten ideas that just might help you lower the drawbridge, open the gates, and invite others to feel seen, known, and loved by you.
Always keep some non-perishable local snacks and drinks in your pantry for unexpected guests. If someone shows up uninvited, you’ll have something to offer them.
Keep games handy that don’t require a common language to play. Uno, Tenzi, Slap Jack, Connect 4, and Jenga are some of our favorites.
Invite your friends to help you cook. Our local friends love learning how to make American dishes like pizza and tacos. This helps create conversation, interaction, and a way to share a meal together.
Host a movie night and find a movie in English with subtitles in the local language (or vice versa.) Pop some popcorn, throw some pillows on the floor, and enjoy. This allows for time together without having to hold constant conversation in another language.
Don’t be afraid to order food from a local restaurant to share with your guests if you don’t have the time, energy, or confidence to cook.
If someone drops in unexpectedly and you’re in the middle of something, tell them you were working but can take a break for 20 minutes. Then give them your undivided attention during that time. When the 20 minutes is up, ask them if you can plan a time to have them over again in the next few days.
Always have some coffee and tea on hand for when guests come over. Offering food isn’t necessary if you have something to offer them to drink.
Choose one night each week that you plan to double the amount of what you’re cooking, and make a point to invite different guests to join you that night every week. Let that be your weekly “hospitality night.”
Don’t have a big enough space to host people? Show hospitality by setting up and providing dinner for friends at a local restaurant. Or prepare food and host a picnic outdoors.
If you’re not an experienced cook, invite your friends to come over and teach you how to prepare a local meal. Ask them to send you a list of groceries (or go grocery shopping together) and then cook and eat together.
The “what” of showing hospitality should never become more important than the “why” behind it. If your heart is to create space for relationship and community, your guests will sense that and be blessed by it, even if all you do is sit on the floor and share a bunch of bananas.
Help us add to this list- share your favorite tips for showing hospitality in the comments below!