travel & Moving

While prepping for the weekend errand run, I stopped and realized the internal dialogue that was running through my head.

We need bread and meat, so we’ll stop at that one store with the good butcher and the bread we like. However, other things are more expensive there, so we’ll swing by the store on our corner after to get everything else on the list. That first store has ramps in and wide aisles, so we can put the baby in the stroller, and they have carts we can put the toddler in. But the stroller does not fit easily in that second store, so one parent will stay in the car while the other runs in. Let’s also plan on eating dinner out tonight, so we can pop into that other store after to grab any final things left on the list. Oh, and they have that cheaper brand of diapers, so we can get those there too. And of course, I’ll do the produce order for delivery on Monday morning as well.

It all started when I was feeling overwhelmed by my mental to-do list as we prepared to move overseas for the first time as a family. There were emails to answer, deadlines to meet, and people to see. There was a twenty-page visa application to complete, a college course to finish, and a baby’s arrival to prepare for. Not to mention the stress involved in sorting through every single possession—deciding what to take, what to store, and what to give away.

ears of desire and prep and waiting for the right timing.

You research, seek advice, and connect with those who have gone before you.

Then that huge shift…and you realize that no amount of groundwork or education could have adequately prepared you for what you’re currently experiencing.

Am I talking about bringing home a baby or moving overseas? Both.

My husband and I just brought home our first baby. As I was feeding her last night, I realized that life with her has a lot of similarities to moving to a foreign place. Here are a few of them:

I am not here to tell you that less is more, because less is actually less.

Less—it is a simple word not used much in Western culture. I don’t hear many people proclaiming they want less stuff, less activities, less house, and less friends. I definitely have never heard someone say, “I want to be less.” In Pope Francis’s documentary, A Man of His Word, he said, “We can all get by with less.” That is a novel notion for those of us that come from consumer culture. What if we all started striving to have less, instead of running about striving for more of everything?

When I initially went overseas, I committed to one year and was sent as an intern with my company. By the end of my third year, I had committed to staying in my role long term and finally had the time to attend a training for people preparing to move overseas in Colorado during the summer of 2015. It was there that I first learned about “yay ducks” and the “yuck ducks.”

The trainers brought out two rubber ducks. (If you say, “pair of ducks” quickly, it kind of sounds like “paradox.”) The Yay Duck represented all the good and exciting parts of moving overseas. The Yuck Duck had some bruises and band-aids and represented all of the not-so-good parts of moving overseas. This was a new way to describe some of the feelings I was experiencing, as I looked ahead to making a major life transition.

I have moved to a third new country in seven years (and that’s not counting all the moves back and forth to my passport country.) Your story is probably similar if you are reading this blog, and let’s be honest, it is exhausting. Besides the logical nightmare of moving countries, there is the emotional nightmare of finding your place and your meaning again.

During the previous moves and other life transitions I started to compile a mental list of rules to help me with the transition. These rules, silly and serious, have helped me settle into life in a new host country, and I hope some of them resonate with you as well.

So, you’re going to do it.

You’re moving to a country that’s foreign to you, with a language you don’t understand, a climate that you’re not used to, and a whole lot of people you don’t know.

You’ve got your reasons, and I’m sure they’re tremendous. You’ve got your plans and your goals, and maybe you’ve even got a calling. Those are all good things, so as someone who’s lived abroad longer than some (and shorter than others), I’d like to welcome you and say CONGRATULATIONS! 

In addition to a hearty welcome, I’d also like to offer some musings for the move. Here are some concepts and resources that have been a deep well of help for me, and many others too.

Sometimes I feel like all I do is pack and unpack bags. It is kind of a joke in my bio that I am a “professional packer of bags,” but it is also very true. I bet you have also felt like a professional packer of bags at times during your expat journey of traveling and moving across all kinds of borders. I bet you have spent a few weeks just shopping, sorting, organizing and packing those bags to head back to your host country.