Posts tagged expat life
Developing The Art of Adaptability

Although it’s unexpected—and far from ideal—I've seen some good coming from this time of distance learning for my kids, made necessary by COVID-19. They’re able to be more relaxed, and we have more time together. But recently I caught a concerning negative development. My three-year-old daughter now looks at her coloring pages and says, "I'm not good at drawing. I'm bad at this,” and then gives up. She hears this from her brothers.

My secret fear is that they learned this behavior from me.

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How One Mom Helped Her Struggling TCK

I remember holding my kindergarten class picture while snuggling with my mom one night at bedtime. She pointed at each face and asked me to tell her something about that kid. Was he kind or funny? Was that girl a good friend? We still have inside jokes that came out of that conversation, like the classmate I said was nice, "but…he farts." We've laughed a lot about that description over the years. We certainly did that night.

Looking back, I realize she had so much to do in the evenings—she was a full-time working mother with a husband and two kids. But I never felt that she was looking at the clock. She had time for me. She wanted to know what's going on in my world, and what I thought about it.

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Expat Life is a Pair of Ducks

When I initially went overseas, I committed to one year and was sent as an intern with my company. By the end of my third year, I had committed to staying in my role long term and finally had the time to attend a training for people preparing to move overseas in Colorado during the summer of 2015. It was there that I first learned about “yay ducks” and the “yuck ducks.”

The trainers brought out two rubber ducks. (If you say, “pair of ducks” quickly, it kind of sounds like “paradox.”) The Yay Duck represented all the good and exciting parts of moving overseas. The Yuck Duck had some bruises and band-aids and represented all of the not-so-good parts of moving overseas. This was a new way to describe some of the feelings I was experiencing, as I looked ahead to making a major life transition.

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10 Ways Expats and TCKs Can Relate to Buddy the Elf

I don’t know about you, but I find it very hard to believe that Elf has been around since 2003. It quickly became one of the Christmas movie classics — right up there with Home Alone, The Santa Claus, and It’s a Wonderful Life. I know I don’t need to convince you to watch that movie (as if you haven’t watched it more than a few times this month alone). But, like any movie that’s watched over and over again because it never gets old, I began to pick up on details I didn’t notice the first two dozen times.

This year, as I sat and watched Elf with my children, I couldn’t help but relate to Buddy on a whole new level. Why was I feeling so seen and understood by this movie? Then it hit me — Buddy is an expat. Even more than that, Buddy is an adult Third Culture Kid.

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The Gift of Telling Your Story

My mother’s family spent several years in the early 70’s living in Seoul, South Korea, when she was a teenager. Because of her vivid memories and my relationship with my grandparents, the influence of Korea on my family was marked. My grandparents’ home in the States was filled with beautiful artwork and furniture from Asia. My grandfather often answered the phone with the Korean greeting, yobaseo, rather than the typical hello.

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A Little Advice to My Pre-Expat Self

It seems like our journey to our host country took an eternity, so I had plenty of time to prepare. Then, when we arrived, we felt woefully unprepared! How did that happen?As we near a year overseas, I have been remembering how I felt in the stressful months leading up to our move. If my future self could have walked alongside her, what would I have said? If I could write a letter to my pre-expat self, what would I tell her? That depends on how far in the past I could send my letter! I’d tell my high school self to apply herself in Spanish class, study abroad, and keep it up because 15 years later, she’ll be living in Spain. I’d tell my college self to make friends with international students. I’d tell that young married couple not to get a cat because giving him away to a stranger will feel like abandoning a child. (Although, I can't imagine those tender first years without him.)

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