I have moved to a third new country in seven years (and that’s not counting all the moves back and forth to my passport country.) Your story is probably similar if you are reading this blog, and let’s be honest, it is exhausting. Besides the logical nightmare of moving countries, there is the emotional nightmare of finding your place and your meaning again.
During the previous moves and other life transitions I started to compile a mental list of rules to help me with the transition. These rules, silly and serious, have helped me settle into life in a new host country, and I hope some of them resonate with you as well.
Read MoreFor a long time, The Perfect Storm was my favorite book. I picked up an extra copy whenever I saw it at a thrift store, so I could just give someone the book when I recommended it to them. I was fascinated by Sebastian Junger describing how the elements of weather, season, and human decision came together and created a perilous situation for so many people.
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On the difficult days of expat life, we might be guilty of daydreaming about "going home." But then, we snap ourselves out of it and declare, "what doesn't kill me only makes me stronger!" We pick ourselves up by the bootstraps and march forward, determined to stay the course and not let anything threaten to send us packing. Over time, pride takes over and suddenly we think "going home" is equal to "quitting."
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It wasn’t until I was older when I realized that most of the world doesn’t define home like me.I have a children’s book called Home by Carson Ellis. It has beautiful pictures of all kinds of homes in it: huts, houses, shells, igloos, wigwams, beehives, clean homes, messy homes, and even a bus-home.
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Our journey to living abroad has been marked by "last times" and living like nomads. Like many who embark on new lives across an ocean, we experienced a last Christmas, a last set of seasons at home, a last time for certain experiences, and the list goes on. When we sold our home in the foothills of the Cascades with a view of Mt. Rainier, we lived temporarily with family for three weeks before we drove across the United States to spend a year in Texas. After a week of hard work, we put our condo on the market. I took a photo, wrote a caption, and claimed a hashtag so I could look back on the defining moment for years to come (#goodbyeklahaniehome). We then spent two weeks celebrating Christmas as we knew it before we said goodbye to the place where my husband and I had grown up and where we started a family. Now, we were leaving this place.
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My husband and I have moved once or twice.
A year.
For the past ten years.
At our core, we are routine-loving homebodies. We dream about the day when we can settle into a house and paint the walls, maybe even build a treehouse. But that isn't our lifestyle right now. So we had to train ourselves to embrace transition.
Life abroad is full of change, and I think most expats go through more than their fair share of transition.
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ABOUT
Transitionitis is a very common ailment affecting hundreds of travelers each year. It is caused by the change in routine brought on by transition, and anxieties (often underlying) relating to the unknowns of the new location and losses associated with leaving the current location.
SYMPTOMS
Wildly turbulent emotions
Unexplained tearfulness
Inability to sleep due to thoughts running away
Exhaustion and increased need to sleep
Upset stomach
Loss of appetite
Comfort eating
Mushy brain
Inability to think straight
Unexplained, unusual aches and pains due to emotional tension stored in the body.
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